Sexologists are generally psychiatrists who have become well versed and specialize in all aspects of sexual relationships, disorders and dysfunctions. Sexologist experts can provide invaluable advice when it comes to relationships and, in particular, your intimate life.
If your sex life is pretty much nonexistent then it’s probably a deeper reflection of your relationship with your partner. A sexologist advocates communication both inside and outside the bedroom. And if you can communicate openly about sex, then the rest of your relationship will follow.
We’ve compiled 10 top tips from sexologists which will help you get the most out of your intimate life. Let’s focus on improving our relationships this year and see where it takes us? Getting some logical but sound advice from a sexologist not only acts as therapy and a way to verbalize what you feel inside but are afraid to say out loud, but they also give you the tools to help move your relationship forward and get comfortable and active in the bedroom again. Many people can’t afford to go and see a sexologist, some people are embarrassed and are not ready to talk about things openly and some people just don’t think the issue is big enough to warrant the time and expense of seeing one or stirring things up with their partners.
One thing is for sure though – everyone is always happy to get some free advice – so here goes. Here are 10 tips from the sexologist that can help every single one of you.
1. Connect emotionally
A lack of action in the bedroom is probably due to underlying issues outside of the bedroom. The most important advice to follow if you want to have the best sex is to connect emotionally. Usually when a couple experiences a lack of intimacy they need to take a step back – and to be open, honest and communicative with each other. It’s important to acknowledge what works for you in your relationship and also what doesn’t work. If communicated openly and honestly, and in a non-judgmental manner, couples can overcome any issues and feel closer than before. Your relationship with your partner and sex goes hand in hand – don’t expect the best sex in the world until you’ve worked together on your relationship. There is nothing sexier than a partner who listens and pays attention.
2. Don’t compare yourselves to others
It’s really easy to feel down when you compare your sex lives with other people. It makes you focus too much on what you should be doing and not enough on what you actually want to be doing. Instead of looking at others and wanting sex because you know others are having it, want sex only because YOU want to. Also – do you really know what goes on in other people’s bedrooms? There is no such thing as having amazing sex every time and certainly nobody’s going to talk about the bad sex. And if you’re not in the mood for sex – that’s fine too! Simply enjoy cuddling, kissing and spending time with your partner.
3. Say goodbye to porn
Many couples mistakenly think that porn is going to add more excitement to their own sex lives. But the truth of the matter is that porn gives you too many high expectations, making your own sex seem dull. Porn is fantasy and not something to strive to be doing. Once you have removed porn as something to aim for, your own sex life will seem a lot better.
4. Try new things
Nobody’s telling you to be boring just because you’ve ditched the porn. Trying new things and focusing on the pleasure you can give to each other is what will keep your relationship hot. Don’t be scared to experiment!
5. Kiss and touch more
Don’t rush through your foreplay. The more you kiss and touch, the more aroused you will get – this is especially true for women. Increasing the kissing and touching will make your intimate times more exciting and pleasurable.
You might not have been expecting this one, but it’s true – using lubrication is highly recommended to avoid chaffing and painful sex.
7. Appreciate your own body
Everyone wishes they could change certain things about their body. But it’s important to take pleasure in your own body, and not just your partner’s. Having positive thoughts about your body and appearance will help you feel more physically secure, and sexier.
8. Improve your pelvic floor
And this one’s not just for women. Both men and women who have strong pelvic floors (do those kegels!) will benefit from improved sexual health. Some evidence even suggests that kegels can help in treating certain types of sexual dysfunction.
9. Compliment your partner
Don’t take your partner for granted. Give out plenty of compliments to help your partner feel loved, sexy and worthy of your love.
10. Focus on pleasure and not on the end goal
It’s easy to get caught up in your quest for the end goal. But instead of focusing too much on that orgasm, just enjoy the pleasure you’re experiencing right now. Direct your focus and priority on pleasure and let your partner know what you want.
They all sound quite logical but how many of you actually follow these tips? If you want a good end goal (repeatedly) then taking care of your own self-confidence and the small things in your relationship is just another form of foreplay – and as #10 specifies, do not take for granted the foreplay in your quest for the end goal!
Many of our customers have been with their partners for years and use our testosterone therapy to restore low testosterone levels due to illness or natural aging. The fact is, even when you don’t have low testosterone, keeping long-term intimacy fresh is a hard job. Add in low testosterone or another form of sexual dysfunction and your confidence can take a real knock, which only adds more tension to the relationship and sexual problems. Men and women with low testosterone have an even harder job at making sure they get what they need and want from a relationship, and meet the needs of their partner….
Here’s also a good article about talking to your partner about sex.